Participate? Not me, I have been too busy collecting insights


Today I participated in a webinar presented by essence producer Sara Turner. Her main message – the Nature Kingdom is here to support us – was delivered in a calm voice. First she asked us to clear our physical space, turn off devices, and light a candle. These cues really helped me to slow down my mind and become present.

Sara explained the power of working with the cycles of the moon. These cycles corresponded with her recent move to France from England. The new moon she explained is a time of setting intentions and planting seeds.

People from around the world signed onto the webinar to participate. We shared problems or challenges in our life with by messaging the group and writing by hand. I had done similar practices in the past. This time however I took pleasure in making both my personal list and sharing online. I targeted past issues like my anger about the school systems of the world and their lack of opportunity for children to express themselves creatively.  I also included present doubts and fears about the success of my new company. Since beginning work back in May we have struggled to pay employees (myself included) on time.

Listing what our heart yearns for was the next exercise. People shared a wide range of desires such as new homes and improved relationships. My sheet started out with being recognized in public. I am only recently admitting or maybe acknowledging this desire to myself. I also dared to write Bliss and centers for sharing essences. I have ignored or hesitated to sit with the question of what my heart yearns for most of my life. My goals either seemed too insignificant (I need to make shifts in society by transforming how youth with mental health are supported to find jobs or transition to adulthood) or too grand (I want to fall passionately in Love). The result of my demanding and perfectionist approach was too often inaction. Other times I spread myself too thin by chasing many goals without much clarity about why I was depleting my energy in this way.

What amazed me about the webinar was that I was feeling mature enough to participate fully. At the beginning of the webinar I made notes how the class was taught. The thought running in my mind – I need to gather all the information I can about how to run a webinar or workshop before doing it! This time however my information seeking and critical self actually chilled out.

So refreshing! What a gift! I cannot imagine how much energy I have spent seeking the “perfect” or “best” path forward instead of simply taking action. Lacking in humility I missed many opportunities to learn and let in support from others. It felt unacceptable to be a beginner. I felt the need to already be good at whatever I was taking on (for example, I have been intending to start a blog like this since before I started grad school 3 years ago).

I feel very grateful to have participated in this new moon webinar. I look forward to my business coaching session with Sara next week! More growth is at hand and very likely it will come from participating fully as opposed to collecting insights for a future opportunity to move forward free of risk of making a fool of myself.

In order to support this leap of faith I made a custom remedy with the label below.  Contact me at bencramer@nyu.edu to schedule a sessions or request a custom remedy.

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